那些卡在腦袋裡的聲音

為什麼妳看起來這麼像受害者？

妳看起來好無辜。

我的性愛娃娃（sex doll)。

好舒服，我已經好久沒有這麼舒服了。

過來這裡。

妳已經濕了。

我忍不住了。

原來妳真的是第一次。

可以無套嗎？

為什麼妳沒有高潮？

妳看起來好美。

妳會吃事後吧？

相信我，我技術很好。

我以為這是最後一次，可以射在裡面。

妳好可愛，我不能傷害妳。

Have you ever raped someone and you aren't even aware?

It took me a year to realize what have happened to me. Another year to accept that I was a victim. And, if luckily I don't kill myself, you can call me a survivor.

How many years does it take for you to admit that you have committed crimes and crashed someone's life?

I know it's hard.

I've got emails sent from 2 people who tried to say sorry to me, but in the context, they never mentioned what they have done.

They only wish that I can forgive them.

But how?

If everytime I think of them and what they have done to me, I still fucking want to end my life.

How?

How can I forgive them if I can't even forgive myself?