爱的勇气

在最后一句之前，我们都无法确定诗中的我和他到底是什么关系。“Broken knees” 和 “would be better” 都在暗示他处在一个糟糕的境地，而 “I care about you” 则表明我试图给予援助。"Crazy" 是他拒绝我的关切的信号，重复四次的 “I care” 是我一厢情愿的姿态。我被他吸引，却遭到他的排斥，而他的排斥却莫名加剧了我们之间的张力。

是我接受了 “blues” 的暗示，一个音符接着一个音符，走进那神秘的 “deep song”，还是他看似不经意实则阴谋密布的 “smile” 和 “lifting his eyebrows” 操纵了我内心的节奏，让我步步深陷？我感到了危险，也因为危险的逼近而兴奋不已。这是一种多层次的，复杂的心理感受；它让我对他的认识蒙上了一层悬疑的面纱。他究竟是 “good dark man”，还是 “bad dark man”，我说不清楚。我真的在乎吗？或者说，我应该在乎吗？我能不能在完完全全认识一个人之前，先毫无保留地在乎他？

最后一句试图终结所有艰难的试探与痛苦的延宕：我爱他。这个结尾一方面显得仓促，甚至轻率，因为诗中的我回避了他是谁，他是否值得我爱的问题。但同时它又是真诚而有力的，因为在解决问题与爱他之间，诗中的我毅然决然地选择了后者。即使带着深陷其中而无法自拔的觉悟，也要向着无法预知的未来盲目地投入。这是诗中的我展现的爱的勇气。而我们，有勇气说这不是爱吗？

POEM-LOVE-4/10

Deep Song

/Gayl Jones

The blues calling my name.

She is singing a deep song.

She is singing a deep song.

I am human.

He calls me crazy.

He says, “You must be crazy.”

I say, “Yes, I’m crazy.”

He sits with his knees apart.

His fly is broken.

She is singing a deep song.

He smiles.

She is singing a deep song.

“Yes, I’m crazy.”

I care about you.

I care.

I care about you.

I care.

He lifts his eyebrows.

The blues is calling my name.

I tell him he’d be better

do something about his fly.

He says something softly.

He says something so softly

that I can’t even hear him.

He is a dark man.

Sometimes he is a good dark man.

Sometimes he is a bad dark man.

I love him.