#双语好文#馴服猛獁象：為什麼你應該停止在乎別人的想法 part1

2023 年 2 月 6 日

原文：

https://waitbutwhy.com/2014/06/taming-mammoth-let-peoples-opinions-run-life.html

（如有侵权，请联系我，我会立即删除）

Part 1: Meet Your Mammoth 第 1 部分：認識你的猛獁象

The first day I was in second grade, I came to school and noticed that there was a new, very pretty girl in the class—someone who hadn’t been there the previous two years. Her name was Alana and within an hour, she was everything to me.

我上二年級的第一天，我來到學校，注意到班上有一個新的，非常漂亮的女孩——前兩年沒有去過那裡的人。她的名字叫阿拉娜，在一個小時內，她對我來說就是一切。

When you’re seven, there aren’t really any actionable steps you can take when you’re in love with someone. You’re not even sure what you want from the situation. There’s just this amorphous yearning that’s a part of your life, and that’s that.

當你七歲的時候，當你愛上一個人時，你真的沒有任何可行的步驟可以採取。你甚至不確定你想從這種情況中得到什麼。這種無定形的渴望是你生活的一部分，僅此而已。

But for me, it became suddenly relevant a few months later, when during recess one day, one of the girls in the class started asking each of the boys, “Who do youuu want to marry?” When she asked me, it was a no-brainer. “Alana.”

但對我來說，幾個月後，這突然變得重要起來，有一天在課間休息時，班上的一個女孩開始問每個男孩，“你想嫁給誰？當她問我時，這是不費吹灰之力的。“阿蘭娜。”

Disaster. 災難。

I was still new to being a human and didn’t realize that the only socially acceptable answer was, “No one.”

我還是不熟悉做人的新手，沒有意識到唯一社會可接受的答案是，“沒有人。

The second I answered, the heinous girl ran toward other students, telling each one, “Tim said he wants to marry Alana!” Each person she told covered their mouth with uncontrollable laughter. I was finished. Life was over.

我回答的那一刻，那個可惡的女孩跑向其他學生，告訴每個人：“蒂姆說他想嫁給阿蘭娜！”她告訴每個人，都用無法控制的笑聲捂住了嘴。我完了。生命結束了。

The news quickly got back to Alana herself, who stayed as far away from me as possible for days after. If she knew what a restraining order was, she’d have taken one out.

這個消息很快就傳到了阿拉娜本人那裡，幾天后她都盡可能遠離我。如果她知道限制令是什麼，她會拿出一個。

This horrifying experience taught me a critical life lesson—it can be mortally dangerous to be yourself, and you should exercise extreme social caution at all times.

這次可怕的經歷教會了我一個重要的人生教訓——做自己可能是致命的危險，你應該在任何時候都保持極端的社交謹慎。

Now this sounds like something only a traumatized second grader would think, but the weird thing, and the topic of this post, is that this lesson isn’t just limited to me and my debacle of a childhood—it’s a defining paranoia of the human species. We share a collective insanity that pervades human cultures throughout the world:

這聽起來像是一個受過創傷的二年級學生才會想到的，但奇怪的是，這篇文章的主題是，這個教訓不僅限於我和我童年的崩潰——它是人類物種的定義性偏執狂。我們分享一種瀰漫在世界各地人類文化中的集體瘋狂：

An irrational and unproductive obsession with what other people think of us.

對別人對我們的看法的非理性和非生產性的癡迷。

Evolution does everything for a reason, and to understand the origin of this particular insanity, let’s back up for a minute to 50,000BC in Ethiopia, where your Great2,000 Grandfather lived as part of a small tribe.

進化做任何事情都是有原因的，為了理解這種特殊精神錯亂的起源，讓我們回到西元前50，000年的衣索比亞，你的曾2，000祖父作為一個小部落的一部分生活在那裡。

Back then, being part of a tribe was critical to survival. A tribe meant food and protection in a time when neither was easy to come by. So for your Great2,000 Grandfather, almost nothing in the world was more important than being accepted by his fellow tribe members, especially those in positions of authority. Fitting in with those around him and pleasing those above him meant he could stay in the tribe, and about the worst nightmare he could imagine would be people in the tribe starting to whisper about how annoying or unproductive or weird he was—because if enough people disapproved of him, his ranking within the tribe would drop, and if it got really bad, he’d be kicked out altogether and left for dead. He also knew that if he ever embarrassed himself by pursuing a girl in the tribe and being rejected, she’d tell the other girls about it—not only would he have blown his chance with that girl, but he might never have a mate at all now because every girl that would ever be in his life knew about his lame, failed attempt. Being socially accepted was everything.

當時，成為部落的一員對生存至關重要。一個部落意味著食物和保護，在那個兩者都不容易獲得的時代。所以對於你的曾 2,000 祖父來說，世界上幾乎沒有什麼比被他的部落成員接受更重要的了，尤其是那些處於權威地位的人。融入周圍的人並取悅他上面的人意味著他可以留在部落裡，他能想像到的最糟糕的噩夢是部落裡的人開始竊竊私語說他有多煩人、沒有生產力或奇怪——因為如果有足夠多的人不贊成他，他在部落中的排名就會下降，如果情況變得非常糟糕，他會被完全踢出去，然後死去。他也知道，如果他因為追求部落裡的女孩而感到尷尬並被拒絕，她會告訴其他女孩——他不僅會和那個女孩失去機會，而且他現在可能永遠不會有伴侶，因為他生命中的每一個女孩都知道他的跛腳，失敗的嘗試。被社會接受就是一切。

Because of this, humans evolved an over-the-top obsession with what others thought of them—a craving for social approval and admiration, and a paralyzing fear of being disliked. Let’s call that obsession a human’s Social Survival Mammoth. It looks something like this:

正因為如此，人類進化出一種對別人對他們的看法的過度癡迷——對社會認可和欽佩的渴望，以及對被討厭的麻痹恐懼。讓我們稱這種癡迷為人類的社會生存猛獁象。它看起來像這樣：

Your Great2,000 Grandfather’s Social Survival Mammoth was central to his ability to endure and thrive. It was simple—keep the mammoth well fed with social approval and pay close attention to its overwhelming fears of nonacceptance, and you’ll be fine.

你的曾 2,000 祖父的社會生存猛獁象是他忍受和茁壯成長能力的核心。這很簡單——讓猛獁象吃飽喝足，得到社會的認可，並密切關注它對不被接受的壓倒性恐懼，你會沒事的。

And that was all well and fine in 50,000BC. And 30,000BC. And 10,000BC. But something funny has happened for humans in the last 10,000 years—their civilization has dramatically changed. Sudden, quick change is something civilization has the ability to do, and the reason that can be awkward is that our evolutionary biology can’t move nearly as fast. So while for most of history, both our social structure and our biology evolved and adjusted at a snail’s pace together, civilization has recently developed the speed capabilities of a hare while our biology has continued snailing along.

在西元前50，000年，這一切都很好。和西元前30，000年。和西元前10，000年。但在過去的一萬年裡，人類發生了一件有趣的事情——他們的文明發生了巨大的變化。突然、快速的變化是文明有能力做的事情，而可能尷尬的原因是我們的進化生物學不能那麼快地發展。因此，雖然在歷史的大部分時間里，我們的社會結構和我們的生物學都是以蝸牛的速度一起進化和調整的，但文明最近發展了野兔的速度能力，而我們的生物學卻在繼續蝸牛。

Our bodies and minds are built to live in a tribe in 50,000BC, which leaves modern humans with a number of unfortunate traits, one of which is a fixation with tribal-style social survival in a world where social survival is no longer a real concept. We’re all here in 2014, accompanied by a large, hungry, and easily freaked-out woolly mammoth who still thinks it’s 50,000BC.

我們的身體和思想是為生活在西元前50，000年的部落而構建的，這給現代人類留下了許多不幸的特徵，其中之一是在一個社會生存不再是一個真正概念的世界中對部落式社會生存的執著。我們都在2014年來到這裡，伴隨著一隻龐大，饑餓，容易被嚇壞的猛獁象，他仍然認為這是西元前50，000年。

Why else would you try on four outfits and still not be sure what to wear before going out?

否則你為什麼要試穿四套衣服，但仍然不確定出門前該穿什麼？

The mammoth’s nightmares about romantic rejection made your ancestors cautious and savvy, but in today’s world, it just makes you a coward:猛獁象關於浪漫拒絕的噩夢讓你的祖先謹慎而精明，但在當今世界，它只會讓你成為一個懦夫：

And don’t even get the mammoth started on the terror of artistic risks:甚至不要讓猛獁象開始對藝術風險的恐懼：

The mammoth’s hurricane of fear of social disapproval plays a factor in most parts of most people’s lives. It’s what makes you feel weird about going to a restaurant or a movie alone; it’s what makes parents care a little too much about where their child goes to college; it’s what makes you pass up a career you’d love in favor of a more lucrative career you’re lukewarm about; it’s what makes you get married before you’re ready to a person you’re not in love with.

猛獁象害怕社會不贊成的颶風在大多數人生活中的大部分方面都起著重要作用。這就是讓你一個人去餐館或看電影感到奇怪的原因;這就是讓父母有點過於關心孩子在哪裡上大學的原因;這就是讓你放棄自己喜歡的職業，轉而從事更有利可圖的職業的原因，你對這份職業不冷不熱;這就是讓你在準備好和一個你不愛的人結婚之前結婚的原因。

And while keeping your highly insecure Social Survival Mammoth feeling calm and safe takes a lot of work, that’s only one half of your responsibilities. The mammoth also needs to be fed regularly and robustly—with praise, approval, and the feeling of being on the right side of any social or moral dichotomy.

雖然保持你高度不安全的社會生存猛獁象感到平靜和安全需要做很多工作，但這只是你責任的一半。猛獁象也需要定期和有力地餵食——讚美、認可，以及在任何社會或道德二分法中站在正確一邊的感覺。

Why else would you be such an image-crafting douchebag on Facebook?

否則你為什麼會在Facebook上成為這樣一個形象塑造的傻瓜？

Or brag when you’re out with friends even though you always regret it later?

或者當你和朋友出去時吹噓，即使你以後總是後悔？

Society has evolved to accommodate this mammoth-feeding frenzy, inventing things like accolades and titles and the concept of prestige in order to keep our mammoths satisfied—and often to incentivize people to do meaningless jobs and live unfulfilling lives they wouldn’t otherwise consider taking part in.社會已經發展到適應這種猛獁象的狂熱，發明瞭諸如榮譽和頭銜以及聲望概念之類的東西，以保持我們的猛獁象滿意 - 並且經常激勵人們做無意義的工作，過上他們本來不會考慮參與的不充實的生活。

Above all, mammoths want to fit in—that’s what tribespeople had always needed to do so that’s how they’re programmed. Mammoths look around at society to figure out what they’re supposed to do, and when it becomes clear, they jump right in. Just look at any two college fraternity pictures taken ten years apart:最重要的是，猛獁象想要融入其中——這是部落居民一直需要做的事情，所以這就是他們的程式設計方式。猛獁象環顧社會，弄清楚它們應該做什麼，當情況變得清晰時，它們會立即跳進去。看看任何兩張相隔十年的大學聯誼會照片：

Or all those subcultures where every single person has one of the same three socially-acceptable advanced degrees:或者所有那些亞文化，每個人都擁有相同的三個社會可接受的高級學位之一：

Sometimes, a mammoth’s focus isn’t on wider society as much as it’s on winning the approval of a Puppet Master in your life. A Puppet Master is a person or group of people whose opinion matters so much to you that they’re essentially running your life. A Puppet Master is often a parent, or maybe your significant other, or sometimes an alpha member of your group of friends. A Puppet Master can be a person you look up to who you don’t know very well—maybe even a celebrity you’ve never met—or a group of people you hold in especially high regard.

有時候，猛獁象的重點不是更廣泛的社會，而是贏得你生活中傀儡大師的認可。木偶大師是一個或一群人，他們的意見對你來說非常重要，以至於他們基本上在管理你的生活。傀儡大師通常是父母，或者可能是你的另一半，或者有時是你朋友群的阿爾法成員。傀儡大師可以是你尊敬的人，你不太瞭解的人——甚至可能是你從未見過的名人——或者一群你特別尊敬的人。

We crave the Puppet Master’s approval more than anyone’s, and we’re so horrified at the thought of upsetting the Puppet Master or feeling their nonacceptance or ridicule that we’ll do anything to avoid it. When we get to this toxic state in our relationship with a Puppet Master, that person’s presence hangs over our entire decision-making process and pulls the strings of our opinions and our moral voice.

我們比任何人都渴望傀儡師的認可，一想到要惹惱傀儡師或感受到他們的不接受或嘲笑，我們就會感到非常震驚，以至於我們會盡一切努力避免它。當我們在與傀儡大師的關係中達到這種有毒狀態時，那個人的存在就籠罩著我們的整個決策過程，並拉動了我們的觀點和道德聲音的弦。

With so much thought and energy dedicated to the mammoth’s needs, you often end up neglecting someone else in your brain, someone all the way at the center—your Authentic Voice.

由於有如此多的思想和精力致力於猛獁象的需求，你最終往往會忽略你大腦中的其他人，一直處於中心的人——你的真實聲音。

Your Authentic Voice, somewhere in there, knows all about you. In contrast to the black-and-white simplicity of the Social Survival Mammoth, your Authentic Voice is complex, sometimes hazy, constantly evolving, and unafraid. Your AV has its own, nuanced moral code, formed by experience, reflection, and its own personal take on compassion and integrity. It knows how you feel deep down about things like money and family and marriage, and it knows which kinds of people, topics of interest, and types of activities you truly enjoy, and which you don’t. Your AV knows that it doesn’t know how your life will or should play out, but it tends to have a strong hunch about the right step to take next.

你真實的聲音，在那裡的某個地方，知道關於你的一切。與社會生存猛獁象的黑白簡單相反，你的真實聲音是複雜的，有時是朦朧的，不斷發展的，無所畏懼。您的AV有其自己細緻入微的道德準則，由經驗，反思以及自己對同情心和正直的個人看法形成。它知道你內心深處對金錢、家庭和婚姻等事情的感受，它知道你真正喜歡什麼樣的人、感興趣的話題和活動類型，哪些你不喜歡。你的AV知道它不知道你的生活將如何發展，但它往往對下一步的正確步驟有強烈的預感。

And while the mammoth looks only to the outside world in its decision-making process, your Authentic Voice uses the outside world to learn and gather information, but when it’s time for a decision, it has all the tools it needs right there in the core of your brain.

雖然猛獁象在決策過程中只關注外部世界，但你的真實聲音使用外部世界來學習和收集資訊，但是當需要做出決定時，它擁有它需要的所有工具在你的大腦核心。

Your AV is also someone the mammoth tends to ignore entirely. A strong opinion from a confident person in the outside world? The mammoth is all ears. But a passionate plea from your AV is largely dismissed until someone else validates it.

您的AV也是猛獁象傾向於完全忽略的人。外界自信的人的強烈意見？猛獁象全是耳朵。但是，您的AV的熱情請求在很大程度上被駁回，直到其他人驗證它。

And since our 50,000-year-old brains are wired to give the mammoth a whole lot of sway in things, your Authentic Voice starts to feel like it’s irrelevant. Which makes it shrink and fade and lose motivation.

由於我們5萬年前的大腦天生就要給猛獁象很大的影響力，你的真實聲音開始覺得它無關緊要。這使得它縮小和褪色並

失去動力。

Eventually, a mammoth-run person can lose touch with their AV entirely.最終，猛獁象跑的人可能會完全失去與AV的聯繫。

In tribal times, AVs often spent their lives in quiet obscurity, and this was largely okay. Life was simple, and conformity was the goal—and the mammoth had conformity covered just fine.在部落時代，自動駕駛汽車經常在安靜的默默無聞中度過一生，這在很大程度上是可以的。生活很簡單，順從是目標——而猛獁象的順從恰到好處。

But in today’s large, complex world of varying cultures and personalities and opportunities and options, losing touch with your AV is dangerous. When you don’t know who you are, the only decision-making mechanism you’re left with is the crude and outdated needs and emotions of your mammoth. When it comes to the most personal questions, instead of digging deep into the foggy center of what you really believe in to find clarity, you’ll look to others for the answers. Who you are becomes some blend of the strongest opinions around you.但是，在當今這個由不同文化和個性、機會和選擇組成的龐大而複雜的世界中，與您的AV失去聯繫是危險的。當你不知道自己是誰時，你剩下的唯一決策機制就是猛獁象粗暴和過時的需求和情緒。當涉及到最私人的問題時，與其深入挖掘你真正相信的模糊中心以找到清晰度，不如向其他人尋求答案。你是誰變成了你周圍最強烈意見的混合體。

Losing touch with your AV also makes you fragile, because when your identity is built on the approval of others, being criticized or rejected by others really hurts. A bad break-up is painful for everyone, but it stings in a much deeper place for a mammoth-run person than for a person with a strong AV. A strong AV makes a stable core, and after a break-up, that core is still holding firm—but since the acceptance of others is all a mammoth-run person has, being dumped by a person who knows you well is a far more shattering experience.與你的AV失去聯繫也會讓你變得脆弱，因為當你的身份建立在別人的認可之上時，被別人批評或拒絕真的很痛苦。糟糕的分手對每個人來說都是痛苦的，但對於猛獁象的人來說，它比對一個擁有強烈AV的人來說更深。一個強大的AV會形成一個穩定的核心，在分手之後，這個核心仍然保持穩定——但由於接受別人是一個猛獁象的人所擁有的一切，被一個很瞭解你的人甩了是一種更破碎的體驗。

Likewise, you know those people who react to being criticized by coming back with a nasty low-blow? Those tend to be severely mammoth-run people, and criticism makes them so mad because mammoths cannot handle criticism.同樣，你知道那些對被批評做出反應的人會回來一個討厭的低打擊嗎？那些往往是猛獁象獁象的人，批評使他們如此瘋狂，因為猛獁象無法處理批評。

At this point, the mission should be clear—we need to figure out a way to override the wiring of our brain and tame the mammoth. That’s the only way to take our lives back.

在這一點上，任務應該是明確的——我們需要找到一種方法來覆蓋我們大腦的線路並馴服猛獁象。這是奪回我們生命的唯一方法。