被剥夺的性与爱

I noticed a headline on Lianhe Wanbao联合晚报just now as I passed the grocery store. It made me so angry. Since I have lived in this country for a few years, I thought my anger at such issues had faded a bit. But no. It is too bad. This report reveals a few issues, and they are all, ugly. Some people might be surprised to find out that the newspaper is well established in Singapore and read by many people who read Chinese news. Reporting such news in this manner is very disturbing.

The title says, "A maid was caught by her employer having secret "good nights" with a man at her employer's house" (女佣带男，偷度春宵，睡过了头，雇主抓包”).

I bought a copy for reading the detailed report and found it went worse, to quote a few sentences here:

The employer Ms. Wang contacted us last night and shared her horrific experience with the maid.

Perhaps readers are wondering what the "horrific" (恐怖的) experience is like?

As the report goes:

"When the employers are asleep, she sneaks her boyfriend into the house and lingers a bit before letting him sneak away...Ms. Wang told the newspaper that when the police arrived to investigate, they searched the maid's boyfriend's bag and found several contraceptive products. They have been unsealed and used, showing that the two have frequent sex."

The report quoted the employer's words:

"She usually gets up around six o'clock to make breakfast, but that day, it was already seven o'clock, but no one was there. My husband pushed her room door to wake her up, but when the door opened, he was stunned by the scene in front of him."

I understand that from the employer's point of view, a stranger showing up in your house in this way is improper. But the fact is that in Singapore, many (if not all) migrant workers have no private life, at all. Here even an attempt to form a relationship is thwarted by Singapore law and employers.

Is it horrific to meet your boyfriend at night?

Is it horrific to have sex with your boyfriend? Or,

Is it actually horrific for many people that a maid wants to have sex in this country?

Isn't it horrific that police investigate your bag and check your contraceptive pills?

Isn't it horrific that the newspaper bluntly writes that "the two have frequent sex" just because the contraceptive products are unsealed and used?

Isn't it horrific that the employer can simply push her door open to wake her up?

Isn't it horrific to demonize and criminalize migrant workers who are in relationships?

Isn't it horrific that a maid cannot have her private space and private life at all?

Isn't it horrific that the employer hopes she will be sent back to her home country so that the next employer won't be a victim?

In Rolinda's poetry collection No Cinderella?: Poems of a Fillpina Domestic Worker in Singapore, 2016-2018, she has a poem "Member of Society":

It’s in community

You preach equality

Practice to everybody

Don’t cut off ME

I dress up nicely

trying my best really

learn everything that is free

Still your standards slap me

I practice my English

Tottered like a dog with leash

shed off my skin, now its flesh

You’re still so high I cannot please

Did you see a name tag on me

MAID I wear I can’t take off freely

I don’t need your sympathy

Treat me fairly,

Respect I want,

Respect only!

I hope the reporter will be able to read Rolinda's poems. To the employers, I wish them a good sex life.